Journey to Growth
We’re all familiar with our comfort zone; that cozy place of familiarity, safety, and sameness, where our life has comforting predictability, and we settle back into a cozy rhythm. Being in a comfort zone is nice, it’s a place where many, but not all, of our needs are met. There’s nothing inherently wrong or negative about being in the comfort zone and there are times in our lives when we need that sense of safety and stability that it brings. Let’s see, what are the benefits… comfortable and in control? Check! Predictable and safe? Check! Risk free and secure? Check! Opportunity and growth? Well, not so much. Goal setting and improved self-confidence? Nope. Increased resilience and learning? Not really. I think you get it.
The comfort zone has a lot going for it and it can feel pretty nice, but a time will come when you’ll be thrust out of it by circumstances beyond your control. Or preferably, you get tired of the status quo and intentionally step out of it, motivated by a sense of purpose and desire to challenge yourself and strive towards a goal of interest. We humans have needs, other than the needs that pertain to our physiological safety and security. Leaving the comfort zone is necessary to realize our higher needs such personal growth and fulfillment. These higher needs are important in our lives because if we are not striving for growth, we could be stuck in a state of inertia, leaving a well of untapped potential and opportunities.
Life is full of opportunities and experiences, so why don’t we just go do a thing? What’s holding us back? There’s a lot of psychology behind it, but what it boils down to is our hard-wired need for safety. The basic idea is that our nervous system is wired in such a way that if our nervous system is over aroused, fear and anxiety kick in, and we enter a panic zone where our options are either fight, flight or freeze. This is a place we all try to avoid.
“Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.” - Chinese Proverb
What would be good about leaving the comfort zone anyway? Do we have options besides being in fight, flight or freeze, a sweet spot somewhere between comfort and panic? Yes, the key is to take on a challenge that stretches you just enough, where you’re finding your edge, without inducing panic. When we leave the comfort zone, understand that stress and fear do not have to equal panic-state. Your fear can be a necessary step, to enter the zone of learning. When we stick with the discomfort of the stress and fear (with awareness) as we are learning, we gain new skills and resourcefully take on challenges. After we’ve spent some time in the learning zone, we enter the growth zone, where we are achieving our aspirations, finding purpose, achieving goals, and setting new goals. And then a new comfort zone is created.
Your zones are going to vary at different stages in your life. There isn’t a road map for pushing your limits, but some practical advice is to take small steps; there’s no need to be reckless. Taking your steps with self-awareness, appreciating the limits of your edge, and having a sense of where your panic zone lies is important to consider as you are moving towards making a change. Understand that stress can be a positive thing. Positive stress can give us the energy to do stuff, like take dance lessons, ask someone on a date or plan a wedding. And know that mistakes are integral and important moments of our growth and learning, so make sure you pause and take a moment to see and process what you’ve learned.
As you embark on your own journey from comfort to growth, it’s important to remind yourself that it probably will not be a linear journey. Uncertainty is part of life. Your path will often come with peaks, valleys and sometimes we may take a step back. However, a growth mindset, meaning you believe your abilities are malleable, will help power you forward. A growth mindset will help you see each failure or setback as an opportunity for learning and growth. Facing adversity and experiencing failure are often necessary parts of the journey and help build resilience as well as improved self-efficacy.
As you think about this in the context of your own life, it can be helpful to ask yourself; which of your strengths would you tap into to help you step out of your comfort zone and into the learning zone? Is it curiosity, bravery, hope, or maybe leadership.
Is there a comfort zone in your life that is yearning to be stretched? Can you allow yourself to dream and imagine what’s possible? Notice what comes up for you as you consider this question. There is no perfect method but a good first step is to decide what you want to accomplish and then shape that into a goal. So much can be said about the steps that follow. But as you push up against the edges of your comfort zone, expect that some stress and fear is part of the process, move with awareness as you proceed. It can be helpful to reflect on past a best experiences to remind yourself of past challenges and successes. And you need not go it alone, if you need help and support, ask a trusted friend, or consider working with a professional such as a health coach to partner with you on your journey.
